Gimme the Ring!

You met when you were 26 and hit if off pretty quickly. A few years and some Valentine’s Day teddies later, you're now 33 and those seven years you’ve spent together could’ve been used to raise a kid or two. Together, you've talked marriage, mortgage and children. Now the only thing missing is the “I now pronounce you…” part to get this thing going. But it still hasn’t happened yet. He hasn’t popped the question. Hell, no one knows if he’s even looked at a ring. How do you avoid the thoughts of: Does he really want to get married? What if my eggs dry up before he asks? Should I ask? Am I crazy? How much longer do I wait?

Here’s my question: HOW ARE YOU BREATHING?! I think I would be losing it on the inside. Not now, at age 23. But at 33? Dyinggggg!

This is the story of my cousin—but also a few other women we know. Some of them even waited 10 years for their guy to propose. At 33, we’re not getting any younger, our eggs aren’t getting any fresher and our parents have probably given up on thinking that we’re going to give them a grand baby before…well, you know. At this point, you're just fed up and would rather just walk on over to City Hall, sign the papers and go on with your life.

Now, I’ve heard the “You want to make sure you know the person before you commit to them forever.” After seven years, you have seen every bit of crazy I have in me. You know whether I can or can’t cook and what I look like before I go to bed. What about the “I’m not ready to get married” line. Marriage is the commitment right? The coming together before God and man to profess your eternal love for one another. Well lets see…you’ve been together for seven (loyal) years so there’s the commitment part, you’ve met all of my friends so there’s the “before man part” and nothing’s a secret to God so there’s the “before God part.”

So what exactly is the problem? Do you not see this person as the mother of your children? If not then you should’ve said this years ago. Are you not financially prepared? A marriage is a partnership. And after seven years, if you’re broke and she’s still with you, she’s not leaving. So what is it?

The question of 'how long is too long before you' what..? give an ultimatum? leave? are all scary questions. I think it depends on the age you reach when you feel like it either is or isn’t going to happen. It’s easier to say “I wish a man would wait seven years before he proposed to me. I would’ve been left after 4.” But after you’ve already invested all of that time, energy and emotion into a person you don’t just walk away because he hasn’t met your time requirement. So you sit and wait and hope and pray that this person isn’t wasting your life and your youth and that he just asks the friggin question. If marriage is what you’re after, make it known. But that’s all I can say to that. A man makes up his own mind. I know this though, “ain’t nobody got time” to have a Crissy and Jim Jones type of relationship. I’ll say that much.